Holding Out For A Hero
by Keiko Murikami
Summary: Parody! Stan announces his love for Cartman through song. XD


**Holding Out For A Hero**

Plz do not take this seriously! XD It's just a parody so it won't go anywhere...And yes, Stan is singing to Eric...XD Why do I write these things? -_-; If I get these lyrics wrong, then plz don't flame. Read and review! :D

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The boys were at a karaoke club, enjoying themselves. Well, except for Cartman; but that was a given. None of the boys wanted to embarrass themselves by singing on the stage. That was their excuse, embarrassment. Miraculously, Stan volunteered to sing. All the boys tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen. Even Wendy, who had tagged along, wanted Stan to come back and sit down.

Stan declined and the boys (and girl) gave up; sitting back down. Cartman took the chance to jeer at Stan's performance, but he didn't get the chance when Stan came back out...All of them were shocked at what Stan chose to wear: a skin-tight glittering blood-red cocktail dress complete with golden hoop earrings and black stilettos. Purple smoky eyeliner and pink cheeks complemented the mascara covered half-lidded eyes. Big, pink wet lips jutted out; the spotlights creating the illusion of puffy lips. His neck had a black collar with a black rose matching his midnight hair. A single, golden clip held his bangs back...

Kenny was caught between laughing himself to death, and fantasizing about the creature in front of him. Kyle twitched and shuddered at how girly his best friend looked, while Wendy had spit out her drink and fainted. Cartman was currently copying a guppy fish, his mouth hanging open.

"I hope you all like my outfit!" Stan smirked slyly. "I picked the perfect song for me and my crush...Oops! Did I say that out-loud?" He asked in a completely sarcastic way. The boys perked up at the 'crush' thing. "I guess I'll have to admit it...This song is for my crush, Eric Cartman!" Stan shouted over the tables. A deathly silence settled over the crowd while Stan blushed as red as his dress.

"WHAT?" Cartman shrieked, freaking out. Kyle and Wendy agreed to let it go; they just didn't care anymore. Kenny finally chose what he wanted, and promptly died of laughter. Stan rolled his eyes and announced the song. "Eric, this song is named 'Holding Out For A Hero'. Hope you enjoy!" He winked seductively. The music filled the club and Stan started singing.

Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Where's the street-wise Hercules

To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?

Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need

Stan was laying on the piano, showing a bit of leg. Amazingly, he had shaved his legs for the performance too. Cartman didn't know exactly how to react to this, so he just sat there while Kyle clapped trying to support him.

[Chorus]

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night

He's gotta be strong

And he's gotta be fast

And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light

He's gotta be sure

And it's gotta be soon

And he's gotta be larger than life

Stan was shaking his hips and getting into his song. Unfortunately, it meant giving Eric a nose-bleed too. Stan flipped his hair and heightened his voice, causing him to hit a perfect high note. All of them were surprised he could sing so well; Wendy had said that Stan was going to a singing teacher last month.

Somewhere after midnight

In my wildest fantasy

Somewhere just beyond my reach

There's someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat

It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

Cartman snorted and crossed his arms. 'Superman? That bastard couldn't do anything.' He thought; a little jealous.

[Chorus]

Up where the mountains meet the heavens above

Out where the lightning splits the sea

I would swear that there's someone somewhere

Watching me

Through the wind and the chill and the rain

And the storm and the flood

I can feel his approach

Like the fire in my blood

Stan had started singing slow and quietly. Cartman quirked an eyebrow in confusion. Stan ran his fingers over his chest, letting his bangs cover his eyes. Cartman choked on his water, causing Kyle to glance at him. 'Damn, Stan...Where do you learn this shit? A strip-club?' He thought, thoroughly confused and a little aroused.

[Chorus]

Stan finished and bowed, walking off the stage. Cartman met him at the table, kissing him. Kyle and Wendy were pretty much scarred for life. Stan looked dizzily at Kyle and his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend, waving drunkenly. The couple left, but the reason why was unclear; though Kyle assumed they'd have rough sex and regret it the next day. Wendy stared at him and he stared back. "...Wanna hook up?" She asked bored. Kyle shrugged and they walked out towards a seedy hotel.

South Park was going to be in for a surprise tomorrow morning at school...


End file.
